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My childhood memories were established in Saudi.
I recalled various fragments of movies, books, talk shows, andnightly news, and soon I had plenty of child abuse memories. But, itdidn’t stop there. Eventually, I said I had taken part in SatanicRituals, been buried alive, drank blood, and helped to kill ababy. With every new memory, my therapist was intrigued and building acase to prove he was right about me all along. I was rewarded with hisattention to me and was his "best" patient. But, I started to havefeelings of death and became suicidal.
While I know you are familiar with all the methods that therapists useto create and maintain false memories, I want you to know that mytherapist took this much further. As therapy progressed, whenever Idisagreed with his insistence that I attend group sessions, hethreatened to involve my husband and hospitalize me or go to myemployer. If I tried to visit my parents without his permission, hesaid he would get a mental health warrant and detain me. While hetalked about protecting my confidentiality, he reiterated hisobligation to prevent me from harming myself. He repeatedly spoke withmy daughter’s therapist, always with the concept of "working together"but I later saw this as a way to reinforce all the falsehoods. He toldme that if I didn’t "work through the memories," my daughter could notbe helped and any harm she caused to herself or others would be myresponsibility. These threats kept me in a constant state of overtcooperation with my therapist as I tried to sort out all myconflicting ideas internally. I didn’t feel free to terminate therapywith him.
Free childhood memories Essays and Papers - 123helpme
My experience departs from the norm in two respects: (1) myinduction into the realm of false memories took place without atherapist as such, and (2) I am a male. I believe my experienceindicative of a process that, once an irrational hysteria such as thisgains momentum, it begins to show up in more generalized areas outsideformal treatment milieus. Here is my story.
It’s been five months since I admitted to friends that my memorieswere false. For the first time I read stories of people who believedtheir memories enough to hurt everyone around them, and now they aretrying to recover from their mistakes. How many of us have to gothrough this hell before someone finds the answers?
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A highly significant phase of fully believing in the reality of myrecovered "memories" was going to other mental health professionalsfor evaluations. A psychiatrist and a psychologist concluded fromtheir psychological testing and evaluation that indeed I had beenseverely traumatized as a child. With these results, I fully believedthat my good and happy childhood was really a cruel joke. (I only wishthat I realized then what I know now, that Psychological testing isnot a proof of history. It is only a reflection of what you believeand what is in your mind at the time of testing.)
I began having "body memories." When coming out of a trance, I couldactually feel the pain of being penetrated. My legs would go numb from’remembering’ times of being tied up. Again, I was told that this allwas repressed and was now coming out; my mind was now allowing me toknow what really happened to me as a child. These physical symptomsonly reinforced for me that these times of abuse had to have happenedor I would not be feeling the physical pain.
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Childhood Memories Essay - 1363 Words | Bartleby
After "coming out" of one of these trances, I was told by mytherapist that I had just revealed an event of sexual abuse anddescribed for her something that had happened to me. She would thenread back to me what she had written down about the "memory" I hadrecovered. I trusted my counselor. I looked up to her (she had an MSdegree in counseling-psychology and BSW in social work). She was aprofessional. Although I didn’t consciously remember what happened inthose trance-like states, I felt that I could trust her when she wouldexplain, "Beth, you have just had a flashback into your past. . .theseare real events that have actually happened to you. . ."
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I was asked to concentrate deeply on my childhood. In this state ofdeep concentration and focus on earlier years, I went into hypnoticand trance-like states.
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As the focus on sexual abuse in our therapy sessions escalated, sodid the sexual content and intensity of my dreams. I would come intothe next therapy session and was asked what I had dreamed aboutrecently. I was told that these were actual memories (not dreams orfantasies) and that through dreams my mind was revealing facts to me.
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Over time I came to believe that I had an incorrect memory of mychildhood and that my therapist really had the correct view. I wastold that people who were abused are not good judges of their own pastbecause if abuse is all you have known or grown up with, you would notsee it as wrong or abnormal.
Childhood Memories Essay | Bartleby
In this phase of therapy, I began to talk less and less about thegood in my family. When I attempted to point out times of happiness, Iwas told that this was not the focus of our session. Every wonderfultime I described from my childhood was taken and twisted into anexample of a dysfunctional family.
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